Originals are always valued more. People will pay for something which is unique and different. I’m not equating you to be worth a monetary number. But what I am saying is how important it is that you know what makes you special and unique, because you definitely have something which is different, stands out, or is specific to who you are. It might be your wit, sense of humor, candor, or ability to rally others to a specific cause. You have something and that something can help you down the path to creating a healthy sense of self-love for yourself.
As I coach my clients about finding mates which are compatible for them, there is a common recurring theme. They tend to focus primarily on how to attract others to them. But, I think this is the least important part of the attracting a high quality partner into your life. What your inner dialogue should be is valuing yourself so much that you focus more so on whether someone really deserving of having you in their life.
This is the game changer when it comes to dating. This is why. Once you value and respect yourself a couple of things happen.
- You don’t settle for less.
- You don’t allow anyone to disrespect you or who is dysfunctional into your life.
And, in my opinion, this is over half the battle when it comes to cultivating healthy relationships. You become more discerning and weed out low quality partners more quickly. You realize that while you will always attract people to you, you want to attract people of real substance and high quality. This is why learning to love yourself is the most important step to attracting the right type of love into your life.
The end goal is to value yourself and be in tune with yourself. It should be to such a degree that when others even think about approaching or becoming a part of your life, they realize they have to rise to your standards as opposed to you lowering your standards to be with them. When you love who you are, you don’t accept someone who just wants to use your body, but not connect with your mind and soul. There will always be these type of people out there.
When you love yourself, it brings clarity. You are able to separate right now versus something that is long lasting. You realize that misfits, people who you have to beg to love you, and people who are difficult to love don’t fit into your relationship equation.
Why, because you love yourself too much to settle for less. You also do not allow someone who is emotionally abusive or unhealthy into your space. Why? Because, you know that you deserve better. When you love who you are you, you attract better quality partners into your life.
Your confidence and beauty is more than skin deep, because your self-love complements what people see and feel about you. This makes you extremely appealing and attractive on a different level. This is the causal effect of someone who exhibits self-love and confidence. The challenge you will then have is deciding which person fits, because your options for potential suitors will be infinite.
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You are capable of receiving love. There is a relationship that will work for you. Sometimes all you need is a nudge in the right direction. If you are struggling with your current relationship, newly divorced and looking to get back in the dating scene, or single and trying to find the right person for you, maybe I can help. Reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or sign up on my website to receive dating tips and relationship advice. For fast advice, read my book The Relationship Investigator’s Fast Guide to Successful Dating.