It’s that time of year again. Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. I don’t know about you, but as much as V-Day is known as a romantic holiday, I think it’s time to make Valentine’s Day more inclusive. These are some ideas of how to turn it up on Valentine’s Day when you’re single.
Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to feel left out of the festivities. And if you’re single there are some unique ways you can celebrate and make the most out of Valentine’s Day.
Here are 14 ways to do so:
1. Love Thyself.RuPaul, a famous drag queen, and moderator of the show, Drag Race, always has the best quotes about self-love. Here is one to keep top of mind on Valentine’s Day. ”When you become the image of your own imagination, it’s the most powerful thing you could ever do.” You don’t necessarily have to have a significant other to be powerful in your own right, but what does eventually attract the right person is you recognizing your power.
Valentine’s Day is a good time for introspection and self-reflection. The love you receive is a direct correlation to the love you have for yourself. Take some time to exercise self-love.
Practice saying a couple of affirmations to yourself:
“I love every part of myself including all of my imperfections, which make me who I am and uniquely lovable.”
“I’m bright, brilliant, and beautiful.”
“I love the person I’m becoming.”
2. Change your perception of Valentine’s Day in your mind. Yes, you’re single. And just because you are not in a relationship now doesn’t mean it will be that way in the future or that is necessarily a bad thing.
Being single is a celebratory moment and one that is often overlooked. When you aren’t in the relationship, you have time to focus on, “You.” But, when you are in a relationship, inevitably that focus is shifted.
Take advantage of your time of being single. Enjoy it, embrace these moments, and use it to learn to be comfortable with yourself. It will make you that much more appealing and complete when you find someone who is compliments to you.
3. Take stock of your friends.Valentine’s Day is a holiday which is supposed to be about love. Love isn’t only about the romantic kind, but non-romantic loves too.
Don’t forget those precious friendships! Have a V-Day potluck or meet up with your bestie or closest friends. Go to one of your favorite hanging spots and make V-Day about celebrating friends who make a difference in your life.
4. Celebrate and reflect on what you have learned from each relationship. Valentine’s Day can also be a day for self-reflection of how past loves have made you a better person.
Celebrating your courage to leave an unhealthy relationship, not settling for the wrong person or maybe losing someone unexpectedly who taught you about ‘true love’ can be revisited if it has helped you to move forward, be stronger or braver.
Here is the benefit of this exercise. Every relationship you have teaches you about yourself, how much you have grown, and usually makes you better and more well-rounded. No matter what, each connection with someone else teaches us something we liked, didn’t want or makes us realize a different aspect of who we are as individuals.
5. Spend time with your family or people you love and who love you. Having support and the love of your family and those who are special in life is irreplaceable. Don’t take these connections for granted and make sure you celebrate them on Valentine’s Day and every day.
6. A spa day is always a good day.Use Valentine’s Day as a day to pamper yourself. Go and do something that feels good for you. If you aren’t into spas, do some yoga, pilates, or paddleboarding (they even have classes inside if you live somewhere cold). The point is to take some time for self-care because that is symbolic of love too.
7. Wear something that makes you feel good.“When in doubt, wear red.” —Bill Blass, Famous Clothing Designer
Go ahead and turn it up a notch. It is Valentine’s Day after all. Put on something that always turns heads, and which you tend to receive compliments. Wear red or a color you don’t usually wear to turn it up a notch, but makes you feel your sexiest. If you have to be with someone else to dress up, well you’re missing the point. Empower yourself!
8. Netflix and chill with your favorite blanket. Find some movies that make you laugh, and help you appreciate love. Love comes in so many forms. It can be a classic romantic comedy. Pretty in Pink, Some Kind of Wonderful, and Love Actually are some classics that will make you smile, laugh, and cry (just a little bit and in a good way). But, if the drama or science fiction genre is more your thing, that’s cool as well. After all, this is your Valentine’s Day too!
9. Pass the love forward. It is the holiday of love, so if you want to do something that will pass along this love to others, there are so many ways to do so. The week of February 11 – 17th is Random Acts of Kindness Week. It’s a great initiative to do kind acts for others. Learn more here.
You can also check out your local community center and see if there are some volunteer opportunities, visit a senior, call your local hospital to see if there is something you can do with some of their sick patients. Volunteer Match is another great organization where you can sign up for volunteer activities in which you have an interest. Often by showing love to others, this can be one of the most fulfilling things you can do.
10. Envision and think about what type of relationship you want for yourself. Write it down and make it descriptive. And go beyond the surface things. Think about what you feel they should value, relationship with their family, approach to living life, how they will handle difficult times, etc.
Have fun with this exercise. Envisioning what you want is often the first step to attracting what you want in your life. The law of attraction and visualizing what you want is the first step to attracting compatible people into your life. These principles apply to relationships too.
11. Use that journal. I’m not sure if you have a gratitude journal, but if you don’t have one, you should get one right away. A gratitude journal is a small journal where you write down about three things each day that make you feel grateful.
If you feel melancholy on Valentine’s Day because you don’t have someone special in your life, here is how a gratitude journal can help you. Pull out your gratitude journal and write down three things that you are very grateful for and why you are thankful.
Think about those things that are going well in your life or some experiences you are looking forward to having. Everyone has something for which they should be grateful.
12. Just do your own thing. Think of V-Day as your day. And this one is self-explanatory. Do something that makes you happy and content. If it means chilling out in your PJ’s, cooking your favorite meal, cuddling with your dog – we’re not judging because it’s all about “You.”
13. Go ahead and get your 50 Shades groove on. If you’re looking for something a little different and fun, grab a friend and go check out the movie, Fifty Shades Freed. In fact, if you want to understand the whole storyline, you might want to start with watching Fifty Shades of Grey and Fifty Shades Darker first. It isn’t your mom’s movie. No, I’m lying, your mom may know about this movie. But, you will enjoy it too!
Bottom line is it is mindless entertainment and will give you some ideas for fun when you do find that ‘special someone.’
14.Treat yourself to something special. Don’t wait for someone else to give you something which you want or deserve. If there is something that would make your heart content, go ahead and do it for yourself.
It doesn’t have to super expensive, but if there is a play you have been wanting to check out, a piece of jewelry you have been eyeing or a trip you have wanted to plan, use Valentines Day as your inspiration.
Just because you’re single doesn’t mean Valentine’s Day can’t be celebratory for you too. Love comes in many forms and exercising self-love for yourself is one of the most important.
Check out more of my website to learn more about the new rules of dating. There are tons of free tips to help you navigate your roadmap to find the relationship you deserve!
What do you enjoy about dating in your 40’s that was more difficult for you in your 20’s and 30’s? What other topics would you like to know about right now that can help you find love?
Your comments are appreciated.
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