Guest Post is written by Jason Wesley
You’re the alpha of the office, the baron of the boardroom, and the commander of the conference room. There’s nothing you can’t conquer, right? Well, that’s true as long as you don’t count trying to find love in the equation. If you’ve found your way to this article, you’re probably bewildered as to why your exemplary executive skills are falling short when it comes to finding that special someone to complete your life.
Thankfully for you, you found your way to the right spot. I’m going to walk you through the five most important tips you need to know to have success dating as a business professional. Consider this your Six Sigma training for finding love. If you’re ready, let’s dive into it.
1.) Invest Your Time in Your Greatest Asset
As business professionals, we understand the importance of investing our time and our money in the assets that are the most important to us. What is, or better yet, what should be your most important asset? It’s you. You’re going to be of no good to your business or your company if you don’t take the time to make sure your life is complete, and your needs are met. When your personal life starts to falter, your work life is going to falter, and the entire delicate machine that is your life is going to fall apart.
What I’m trying to get you to realize here is that finding that special someone should be at the top of your to-do list. Yes, I understand that you have 85 million projects due last Tuesday, but that’s no excuse. If you’re struggling to break yourself out of the workaholic mode, at least look at it this way. If you don’t do the necessary work and maintenance on your greatest asset (you), then that great asset is going to start to fall apart slowly, and your productivity (and happiness) are going to suffer.
2. Talk about Work, But Don’t Just Talk About Work
As a business professional, your work is probably a considerable part of your life. In fact, it might be all of your life which is the reason you’re here spreading your wings and looking for that special someone. When you start to go on dates, you need to make sure you’re aware of how much you’re talking about your work. Should you talk about your work? Of course, you should! It’s a part of who you are and what makes you-you.
What you shouldn’t do though is ONLY talk about your work. You need to make sure that you share a good balance of who you are. Even if all you do is work, there are still other things that you can share that don’t have to do with spreadsheets and ROIs. You can talk about your childhood, your interests, your family, your pets, your favorite movies, music, and shows…I could really go on forever here. The point I am trying to make is that even if all you seem to do is work, there are things that you can talk about to make sure you aren’t talking 100% about your work.
Additionally, you should make sure that you are listening as well, but we will save that discussion for another day.
3. Technology is Your Friend
Most articles you read on dating as a business pro tell you to put down the computer, smartphone, and iPad to have more success. Unfortunately, I have to disagree with this advice strongly. In my Guide to Dating as a Business Professional, I spend a lot of time talking about how technology is actually your friend when it comes to finding that special someone.
What do you do at work to try and get more work done more efficiently? You use technology, systems, and processes to help make things easier. Why on Earth would you not want to do the same thing when it comes to dating? Specifically, I’m referring to utilizing online dating as a means of finding new potential matches.
I’m not saying that you should completely write off looking for love in the real world, but it can be tough when you spend 100% of your time at work. Online dating helps you to utilize matching algorithms, sorting methods, and search functions to help you sort through the potential suitors to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. Embrace the technology and realize that the world has come a long way. Online dating is no longer just for the crazies and shut-ins; it’s for the busy business professionals who are tired of trolling bars on the one night off they have every six months.
4. Drop the Interview Game
If there is one tip I hope you take from this article it is this one so please pay attention. When we’re at work most of us do things very systematically. When we hire new employees, we ask a serious of predetermined questions to try and find the best match for exactly what we are looking for. The lines are usually black and white without a lot of wiggle room.
This sort of approach does not work in the dating realm. If you approach each of your dates like a job interview, two things are going to happen. One, you’re going to come off as cold and boring to your potential match. They’re going to feel like they’re in a job interview and I have yet to find someone who really loves going on job interviews.
Two, you’re not going to leave room for natural chemistry to take root. Love is not a black and white process that follows a standard operating procedure. It needs to have room to flourish and happen in the way that it wants to happen. Ask genuine questions that fit into the conversation. Yes, you can come with a few preplanned questions if you’re not great at starting conversations, but beyond that, let it flow naturally.
Genuinely listen to what they are saying, and you’ll be able to find questions to ask to get to know them better. Don’t be scared if this means there will be a little silence in the conversation. It’s not an interview or a meeting that you are running; it’s an interaction between two humans that simply are looking to get to know each other better.
5. Let It Happen…Seriously
My final tip is a bit of a continuation on the last one. You have to just let things happen. Successful businessmen and women tend to be great at making things happen in their work life. When things aren’t happening, they (you) find a way and make it happen regardless of how much work or force it takes.
This approach does not work in the dating world. Finding that special someone is going to happen when it happens. That being said, you still need to be an active participant in the process, but you can’t force things to happen overnight. In simpler terms, be patient. These are some of the toughest words for business professionals to swallow, but I promise you that in this realm it works.
Now that you have these 5 tips to help you improve your dating experiences, you got the tools you need to get a jumpstart on finding love.