I’m not sure about you, but sometimes there is a nagging voice in my head that is constantly trying to shake my self-confidence. I come to learn it’s normal and every one of us has probably had that feeling or moment at one time or another where you felt lost, incomplete, or like your life wasn’t heading in the right direction. The next time you feel as though you are going to freak out and your inner voice becomes too loud to bear, here are some proven techniques to help you beat your self-doubt.
I’m not sure if you have heard of Mel Robbins. She is a motivational speaker, serial entrepreneur, and life coach who helps people transform their lives. One thing she is noted for is talking about the 5-second rule. Whenever you feel sad, frustrated, or actionless she suggests you count back from 5 to 1 silently to yourself and then move forward to take the next step towards what you want to do. Action defeats self-doubt, inaction feeds it.
Detox from Social Media
Stop the habit of comparing yourself, your life, and relationships to others on social media comparison. You, me and everyone out there, trust me on this one, are highlighting the good aspects of our lives. Who wants to show the bad stuff? It’s in us to want to put up our best possible self to others.
But, pictures are just a snapshot in time. It doesn’t negate the fact that a person can be dealing with illness, an unhappy relationship, a difficult boss, or just going through some type of life challenge. When you start feeling bad about your own life, I have a suggestion. Take a day or so and detox from social media. Instead, shift your attention to yourself. Focus on what you need to do in your life to move forward and not on others. It will do you a world of good.
You May Not Fit In A Box And That’s Ok
Project Happiness has a great quote which I absolutely love and can be helpful for improving your self-doubt. The quote goes like this, “Bad news: You’re not going to fit in with everyone. Good news: The great ones never do.”
It’s ok that you are different from others and maybe a little unique and eccentric. Sometimes when you don’t fit in the box, it can cause some self-doubt. How to deal? Find your tribe and lean on them when you need support.
Like-minded people attract other like-minded people into their lives. There are some great ways to use technology, meetup groups, and social media (in a good way) to find people with similar interests to you. When you find a place and people who you feel supported and happy around, your life can change in a very positive way.
Reflect On Your Past, But Only For This Reason
Reflect on your achievements and write them down as a reminder of how you have overcome moments which you thought were insurmountable. Staying in the present and focusing on the future helps to move you forward, but here is when it’s acceptable to look at your past.
When you have a moment of self-doubt, reflect back to other times you didn’t think you would make it through a difficult situation. What happened? What did you do? What were you able to accomplish? These moments are important reminders that often we overthink our fears and plant real doubt in our minds nourishing self-doubt. Looking at our achievements, being grateful, and realizing that we are and have been enough helps to quell your self-doubt.
Your Life Is A Marathon Not A Sprint
Realize that nothing happens overnight. Having success and building towards success is a succession of many small steps, not just one giant one. Each and every day for those things of which you have self-doubt, think of actions you can take, even itty bitty ones, to move you towards your goal. The unrest you feel occurs when you settle for less than what you want, focus on all of the what-ifs, worse case scenarios and when you are simply stagnant. The best way to relieve yourself of that nagging voice and feeling is to take tactical actionable steps towards what you really want and desire out of your life.
Your Thoughts Matters
Manage your thoughts. That big thing between your shoulders, your brain, can make or break you so learning how to manage your emotions is crucial to your mindset and alleviating self-doubt.
Mediation, positive affirmations and feeding your mind with positive thoughts is uber critical to you turning self-doubt into self-confidence. It’s ok to have a thought, even ones that may not feel so great. But, it’s more important to learn how to let the thought come and release it, really letting it go.
The Power of Writing
Journal your greatest fear. Sometimes seeing things in black and white make them feel less daunting. Writing things down gives you context and a realistic sense of how you can tackle them. It’s a subtle but powerful way to get unstuck. When something is on paper, you can look at it from different angles and come up with a plan to move through each obstacle.
Get Out Your Own Head
Realize you are your worse inner critic. You are with yourself 24-7 for better or worse. And within that timeframe, you intimately understand who you are, what makes you tick, what unsettles you, and what makes you happy.
It also gives you plenty of time to criticize every bit of who you are too. But realize you are human. You are imperfect and that is ok. It really is. You will see yourself with a much deeper lens than someone else, but use that in a positive way to focus on the great things that make you who you are as a person versus focusing on the negative traits.
Reset = An Opportunity For Growth
A setback is an opportunity for a reset and personal growth. You will have setbacks in life. Life has its peaks and valleys. This is a great book to help you learn how to navigate them. But, also through your setbacks, you can learn a lot about your tenacity, strength, and willpower.
You can manage through a setback to become stronger and wiser. You can use your experience as an opportunity to have an awareness to avoid the same situations over and over again. A setback can also help you move forward and assist you later when you face similar obstacles.
Self-doubt is a tangible feeling. It’s why it’s hard for you to experience. You will have this feeling. It’s normal. The key is learning how to manage your self-doubt in a way where it’s a temporary, not a permanent state of mind. The good thing is that you can always make changes along the way in this sometimes crazy journey, called life. And also by applying these tips, you can defeat self-doubt while keeping your sanity and confidence intact too!