Finding someone who is compatible with you in a relationship is difficult enough. If you add in the factor of the person you fall in love with not living near you, it can create some additional challenges. The benefits of technology are that it has helped to broaden our dating options beyond people which we would not usually meet.
And sometimes, even after actively pursuing someone who lives in your city, you might have better luck meeting someone who lives someplace else. While some may rule out this option, others have embraced the opportunity of being with someone who they feel suits them more so even if it involves some additional distance. Consequently, commuter relationships, or long-distance relationships (LDRs) where one person in the relationship may live in a different city due to work, etc. and then commute back to their partners on weekends or at specific times have become increasingly common.
If you are in an LDR, and you are wondering how you can manage your relationship to make it work for the both of you, here are some advantages of being in an LDR relationship:
1. LDRs can create a higher level of intimacy. While it can be great to see your partner every day, having some time in between can make your bond even stronger. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. When you are in an LDR, it can increase the intensity of your intimacy with one another because you don’t take each other for granted. You value each moment in which you can share affection or be intimate with one another because your interactions with one another are more limited. And because you do have time away from your significant other (SO), the time you spend together becomes more valuable.
2. Couples in LDRs build stronger communication with one another. You have to do so because if you do not directly communicate your needs, they can easily go unmet. The distance along with a lack of communication can make things go sideways quickly. When you are in an LDR, you realize that you have to communicate often and directly with your partner so that you are both getting your needs met. Quality communication helps to build a solid framework to your relationship and allows it to flourish.
3. You share more in your interactions with one another. When you are with someone day-to-day, many of your interactions with one another aren’t shared on a daily basis because you are physically in the same space so the day-to-day can become mundane or is more readily observable. When you have distance from one another, it is not uncommon for you to share more of your day-to-day happenings as well a lot of the minutiae that happens in your day. It’s your way of making your SO feel included in what is happening in your world and making sure they feel closer to you.
4. You are interdependent versus being dependent on one another. An LDR offers a unique opportunity. You not only exercise your independence but interdependence on one another. You still maintain a sense of who you are with your partner, but also when you are on your own, and your partner is not with you. You realize that you want to be with them, and there is some level of reliance on them, but you also have a high level of comfort of operating on your own and making independent decisions outside of your relationship too. It can help create a very healthy relationship dynamic.
5. You may feel more secure in your LDR relationship. When you are in an LDR, you have to put in some extra work in your relationship, so you don’t take it for granted. While some might think an LDR increases a couple’s chances of infidelity or of having additional issues, sometimes the opposite happens. Couples in LDRs realize the level of commitment needed to have their relationship work. And as a result, they put in more time and effort to keep their relationship on par. It is not to say that it doesn’t take time to build trust or there aren’t moments where you feel insecure in your relationship. But, because you have the dynamic of an LDR, it adds to you having to be very present in your relationship when you are with your partner and address these issues heads on so that you both feel secure with one another.
6. If you are in an LDR and take the crucial step of getting married, it doesn’t increase your chances of divorce. It seems counterintuitive, but divorce rates are no different than a couple who live with one another every day versus an LDR. Divorce happens because of incompatibility, a change in a relationship between a couple, or other nebulous reasons.
7. LDRs can allow you the reset you need which isn’t available in a traditional relationship. Because you have some distance in your relationship, it can enable you to have the needed personal time you need to recalibrate to find your balance. Having this downtime can help strengthen your bond with your significant other and value the time, even more, when you are with them.
Being in an LDR can be a challenge. After all, it is a relationship that falls outside the norm. But if you find someone who is worth the effort and this relationship dynamic works for you and your significant other, go for it! A relationship and partnership with your SO are about what you need and what will add to your happiness. Being aware of the benefits of an LDR can help your relationship thrive and grow in a way that you may have thought was unexpected.