Being a professional woman in the dating scene can be tough. When you are attractive, intelligent, and a career woman, this adds complexity to the process of dating men. Here’s why.
The Statistics
- Since 1981, males have not been graduating from college at the same rate as females,so there are fewer educated young single men than women.
- When a woman attains financial success (e., buying a home or achieving a comfortable lifestyle), she has less economic incentive to seek out a man. She doesn’t need anyone to take care of her financially. For this reason, women in this category may be more selective in the dating process. They have lots of attributes to share and more to lose. Successful women usually seek a partner of equal or greater status.
- College educated professional women are outpacing men on the work and career front by as much as 33%.
So it is not your imagination: the pickings are slim and the challenge of finding someone you can connect with has become more difficult. But it is not impossible.
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Simple Tips for Dating in 2016
As a professional woman, how can you find someone compatible and complementary? How can you avoid the mistake of eliminating your chance of connecting with someone to love?
This article is Part 1 in a series of steps for finding a compatible mate. Here are some recommendations to begin to change the dating game:
- Look inward first, then outward.
Physical attraction is important and is typically the way you will be drawn to another person. But don’t use physical attraction as the primary gauge to determine if someone is compatible.
Try this instead. Look at his traits. Is he honest, hardworking, and trustworthy? Is he goal-oriented? Do you share common interests? Start from here, then allow the physical attraction and chemistry to naturally come into play.
Human beings have traits that will drive the long-term success of a relationship. So pay close attention to them. If your potential suitor has a good moral compass, this lessens his chances of infidelity. If he is hard working, this means he will add stability to your life. These are the kinds of traits that help to create a well-rounded relationship.
- Learn to play up your feminine qualities.
I don’t mean you should act coquettish or play dumb. But the skills that make you successful at work or in a community leadership role may not be the ones that will play out well in a relationship. Relationships require compromise, looking at the other side and considering the impact of your actions, and taking the high road to a peaceful outcome. This is the opposite of work where you have to be aggressive, strategic, and constantly play up your skills in order to stay relevant and progress.
Men need to have their ego stroked. They want to know that you need them. This makes them feel important. Your potential suitor may understand you are independent and strong, but you should let him know that you need him. Ask for help. This empowers your man to be a man in your relationship. Your relationship is not a competition, but a partnership.
- Don’t eliminate a suitor based on his profession or educational status.
There is a lot of classism in dating behaviors. People will avoid having mixed-collar relationships. A doctor may not want to marry a tradesman, or a banker get serious with someone without a college degree.
But this is the problem with occupation. It is a part of who you are, but it probably does not represent everything about who you are. Work is only one facet of your life.
When you rule out men based on their profession, you limit your dating pool and miss out on good male suitors. Some blue collar men do very well in their careers and are just as driven as white collar men. The attributes a person exhibits in a relationship are much more important and relevant than their profession. Limiting your dating pool and judging a man simply by what he does for a living is a sure way to eliminate some potentially good partners. You could miss “the one” while dating all the wrong men.
These simple tips can help you date smarter. In the upcoming articles in the series, we will explore more ways for professional women to achieve dating success.
Share Your Experience
Let’s talk. I want to hear about your dating experiences as a professional woman. Were my tips relevant? What hinders your dating success? What holds you back from dating? Have you given up on dating? Or do you have a success story to share?
Please share your comments. We can learn from you.
Read The Professional Woman’s Guide to Dating (Dating in 2016: Part 2)
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You are capable of receiving love. There is a relationship that will work for you. Sometimes all you need is a nudge in the right direction. If you are struggling with your current relationship, newly divorced and looking to get back in the dating scene, or single and trying to find the right person for you, maybe I can help. Reach out to me at [email protected], or sign up on my website to receive dating tips and relationship advice. For fast advice, read my book The Relationship Investigator’s Fast Guide to Successful Dating.