Originally published on Jet Magazine
Tips to help you stand out from the rest and snag his or her heart just in time…
Did you know that 45% of relationships begin via online dating? The pros of online dating are many, but if you’re still struggling with your online dating profile, here are five quick ways to get your profile right.
1) Stop being so damn picky.
You know the series of questions you get asked on each online dating site as you’re building your profile? The ones relating to your criteria in a partner? A lot of dating sites use your responses to measure not only who you are, but also to determine who is most compatible with you on their online site. Here is where it can get dicey. Women tend to be very specific in their responses. We may respond that it is “very important” that our potential mate is well-educated, in a particular profession, religious, etc.
I’m generalizing here, but when you get too specific in your answers, men who are good potential partners may respond to these same questions more liberally. They may say that education is not a super high-criteria and neither is his partner’s profession, religion and so on. So when all of the analytics add up, because you’re so specific in your responses, you may miss out on some good choices in a partner. I’m not saying you should totally compromise your answers. Always be true to yourself, but also be flexible. In doing so, you increase your matches. Plus, you can always pair down your choices from there.
2) Involve your squad.
Sometimes it is tough to know what makes you attractive and how to summarize that quickly in a dating profile. And then for others, they may think everything about them is attractive and have a little bit too much of a bias towards themselves. To get an objective perspective, involve your squad. Pick friends who know you best and want the best for you. Order some food, have some drinks and write your profile together.
It’s eye opening, but I can attest to the benefits of doing so. I had one of my close friends do this for me and there were qualities she noticed that I would have never thought to mention on my online profile. As a bonus, she also helped me weed through my choices. Going through that process helped me learn how to maximize my online dating experience.
3) Highlight your humor.
Have you ever noticed that someone with a good sense of humor usually has someone showing him or her interest? Everyone likes a good laugh and a good sense of humor is contagious. There are certain people I follow on social media because they make me laugh and lighten up my day. They show you all facets of themselves, including the awkward and embarrassing moments. It’s appealing because they are showing you their vulnerabilities, which makes you feel more attracted to them because they feel real and genuine. Think of your online dating profile as a way to start a conversation or as a preview of who you are as a person.
4) Share highlights of you doing what you love.
It’s so sexy and attractive when you see someone who is passionate about music, a particular hobby, or activity. It’s their thing and that energy attracts others to them. When you are doing what you love, you are happy. Most people want to be with someone who is happy. It also shows your individuality, the fact you are actively doing what you are interested in and that you are a multi-faceted person.
Be specific and don’t write a novel. If you love to travel, include a picture of a place you enjoyed with a snippet about the adventure and how it enriched your life or made you better. Get a little granular in your descriptions. Showing and sharing what you love helps others to get a better sense of who you are individually.
5) Update your profile on a regular basis.
Have some fun with your profile. You are constantly growing and evolving and your profile should reflect those changes. Add pertinent information that is happening in your life, including new experiences. And for God’s sake, please use spellcheck. There is no excuse for bad grammar. No one is expecting you to be a prolific writer, but bad grammar just creates a bad first impression.
6) Keep it simple silly.
Yes, you are the stuff. So, so hot – that’s all you. And it’s OK if you have some self-bias. But learn to save some good stuff about yourself for those dates you will have with your potential suitor. Less is more. Give enough information to wet the other person’s appetite. Think of it as reading a good book or watching a nail-biting movie. Mystery and build up is a good thing to creating additional interest in your profile.
Online dating is a marathon, not a sprint. Doing these five things in preparation for Valentine’s Day and beyond will help you hit the finish line in stride I promise!
Elizabeth Overstreet is a relationship coach, speaker and author. Her book, “Love You & He Will Too: The Smart Woman’s Roadmap to Happy, Healthy Relationships,” is available at all major booksellers.
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