A recent interview with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie indicated several impressive aspects of their relationship. I wasn’t surprised. But many people might be. After all, the general public has a range of reactions to the two superstar celebrities.
If you polled people about Brad and Angelina’s marriage and how they feel about the couple, responses would be polarized. Some find their relationship romantic and inspirational. But many people cling to opinions from the past. They think Brad was stolen away from Jennifer Aniston, to whom he was married when he fell for Angelina. They may claim Angelina was a home-wrecker who broke up Brad’s marriage.
I beg to differ. I believe the truth lies somewhere in between and what we did not see is more important than what was told to us via tabloids, gossip, and third person accounts.
Brad and Angelina met on the movie set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith, and and it was noted by others around them at the time that the chemistry was very strong between the two. The general public was shocked, and many disapproved. This was due to the fact that at the time, Brad and Jennifer were one of America’s favorite celebrity couples. They were an attractive and popular duo who looked like they had a storybook romance.
Angelina, on the other hand, was perceived as a wild child. She dated some men who were considered to be, let’s say, different. She was into tattoos, which were not considered as normal as they are today, and appeared to be free-spirited. Angelina was perceived as sexual and uninhibited. Men were extremely attracted to her, . and some would leave other relationships to be with her. This was called the Angelina Effect.
Love and Trust
Love is strange. What can look like an ideal relationship from the outside rarely is the case for those in it. Things outside of your control happen, challenging a relationship in surprising ways. Sometimes the normal trajectory of a long-term relationship has run its course to come to an end as the two people’s needs and wants change over time. This is what makes relationships messy, unpredictable, and complicated.
Before she met Brad, Angelina was going through a period of self-discovery. She was experimenting as she worked to understand who she was. Unlike us, however, she had to self-explore while in the public eye. She was pretty young at the time, and had an ample supply of money, intelligence, energy, and sexual appeal. This gave her more options than the average female has.
Over time, Angelina matured into an amazing actress, a director, and a world renowned philanthropist. She became an ambassador, adopting children from impoverished countries, and working to give of her time, resources, and money to help improve the lives of those who are less fortunate.
Brad supports her in these endeavors. When Brad and Angelina met, the shared desire to make a difference most likely resonated for them.
When you meet the right person, no matter the circumstance, something big changes inside of you. Being with someone who embraces you fully and urges you to be a better person is a wonderful feeling. This kind of love is different. It makes you grow, settle in, and really feel satisfied. It is a love that often cannot be ignored and is not always rational. But the end result of this kind of love is this: it makes both people better when they come together to form a couple.
Brad and Angelina may have started off their relationship under a storm of controversy. But the positive effect they’ve exerted on each other outweighs the initial choice to be together despite other ties. There was a reason they met. This is what I think when I look at what they do in the world.
Love Lessons for Us
In fact,, there are some lessons in their relationship that can be used to strengthen our own relationships. Here is what we can learn from Brad and Angelina:
- These two have each other’s back.
They have remained s steadfast, committed to one another. They formulated their relationship on their own terms. They did not allow others to impact how they live their lives.
- They did not allow external pressures to dictate how they manage their relationship.
It is easy to want to mirror others in relationships, especially when it seems as though they have figured out something we have not. But every relationship is unique and deserves individual attention.
For example, there was a lot of pressure on Brad and Angelina to get married once they had kids together. But the couple waited until they wanted to get married, then did so in a low-key ceremony. They did not allow others to push them into making this move. Instead, they did it in their own timeframe.
- Brad and Angelina have a life together, but each has their own individual interests, hobbies, and activities.
Angelina was highly active in philanthropy when she started dating Brad. And she continues this work independently and with her husband. The two celebrities do things as a couple and with their children. But they also pursue their own projects and interests on their own. This requires trust.
Sometimes in a relationship we put pressure on our significant other to fill all of our needs. This is not fair and it is also unrealistic. While another person can fill a lot of our needs, they cannot fill all of them. Cultivating your own interests can help to enhance and strengthen your relationship. It is one of the factors that will keep your relationship fresh and interesting.
- Brad and Angelina are there for each other when it counts.
On a recent appearance on the Today Show, the couple talked about their reactions when Angelina was diagnosed with cancer. Brad was in France at the time. His first reaction was to immediately get on a plane and fly back to be there for Angelina. He felt horrible that he could not be there at the time she received the diagnosis. Brad said he respected Angie’s strength throughout the process. She was making the decision to remove her fallopian tubes, ovaries, and breasts because she wanted to be there for their family long-term. His job as her husband and as a father was to support her and do what was needed for the kids. Angelina explained how she felt confident making the decision because she was not concerned about her physical body. This was because Brad always made it clear to her that he wanted a woman who was smart, capable, and cared about their family. In facing the challenge of her cancer, both of them knew that the other would be there, no matter what. Both could trust the other for support through whatever difficulties they encountered.
Relationship Dynamics
Brad and Angelina’s relationship is obviously not the norm. They are celebrities, household names, screen stars. They have more money than we can imagine. Also, they are constantly in the public eye. So when they first fell in love, the world was there to judge them.
But the only thing that really matters is whether this relationship works for the both of these people. And clearly it does.
We might not understand why we meet certain people when we do, or what they are meant to teach us. However, when we experience love in the most pure form, it can elevate who we are. It can change lives. It can change the world.
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You are capable of receiving love. There is a relationship that will work for you. Sometimes all you need is a nudge in the right direction. If you are struggling with your current relationship, newly divorced and looking to get back in the dating scene, or single and trying to find the right person for you, maybe I can help. Reach out to me at [email protected], or sign up on my website to receive dating tips and relationship advice. For fast advice, read my book, The Relationship Investigator’s Fast Guide to Successful Dating.